Reports have surfaced that the serial litigant, Gary Burns, is on the warpath against the Hebrew prophets. More particularly, he’s proposing to take the prophet, Ezekiel, to the Anti-Discrimination Board. Ezekiel is cited as condemning the sins of Sodom as haughty and ‘an abomination’ before God (Ezek.16:50). Strangely enough, Mr Burns has drawn inspiration from the history of the papacy itself.

In 897, Pope Stephen VI (896-897) is supposed to have taken a dislike to the teaching and practices of his predecessor, Pope Formosus (891-896). As a consequence, Stephen had the remains of Formosus dug up, arrayed in full papal vestments and placed on a throne. The corpse was then charged with perjury, violating the canons prohibiting the translation of bishops, and  coveting the papacy. Formosus was found guilty, presumably with not much to say for himself, and all his acts were declared null and void, and his body flung into the Tiber. Something similar, surely, could take place after the ADB has investigated Ezekiel and any other recalcitrant prophets.

Unfortunately, it was later found that one of these, Elijah, had been taken up by a whirlwind into heaven (2 Kings 2:11). This would discourage many a litigant, but not one trained by the ADB. At last report, an extradition order is being prepared. The media are keen to report the latest development in this unfolding saga. Polls indicate that Mr Burns is doing extremely well on the ABC and SMH, but lagging behind in the real world.

Marked: Satire.