There are a lot of people in the Church who recognize that there is a problem with a lot of teaching that focuses on self-love and self-esteem. But where does this teaching come from?

Well, the answer is the modern obsession with psychology:

“Even more reprehensible, if possible, than forgetfulness and neglect is the teaching of Christian psychology that God loves us because we are lovable and worth it. Richard Dobbins, best known Assemblies of God psychologist, suggests that one repeat, “I am a lovable, forgivable person.” Bruce Narramore boasts, “The Son of God considers us of such value that He gave His life for us.” If that were true, it would only increase our self-esteem (which, indeed, Narramore teaches) but decrease our love for Him and our appreciation of His grace. The Bible teaches that our love for God and our appreciation of His love and forgiveness will be in proportion to the recognition of our sin and unworthiness. That truth, found over and over throughout God’s Word, is vigorously opposed by Christian psychology to the detriment of the Christian faith!

Such was the lesson Christ taught Simon the Pharisee when He was a guest in his house. Jesus told of a creditor who forgave two debtors, one who owed a vast sum and another who owed almost nothing. Then He asked Simon, “Which of them will love him [the creditor] most?” Said Simon, “I suppose … he, to whom he forgave most.” “Thou hast rightly judged,” replied Jesus. Then, rebuking Simon for failing even to give him water and a towel and commending the woman who had been washing His feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair, Christ declared pointedly, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little” (Luke 7:36–47).

It is both logical and biblical that the more sinful and worthless we realize we are in God’s eyes, the greater our gratitude and love that Christ would die for us. Clearly the emphasis of Christian psychology in trying to build up our self-esteem and self-image undermines the very basis for gratitude to Christ for dying to redeem us. When some years ago the Biola University choir was going to sing at Schuller’s Crystal Cathedral, they had to change the words of a well-known hymn from “that He would die for such a wretch as I” to “for such a one as I.” The flesh fights the awful truth about self, which is a major reason that so many turn to psychology for the unbiblical comfort it offers.

One would think that Christian psychologists promoting self-esteem, self-image, self-worth, and the other selfisms would be ashamed that they are simply echoing the world. Los Angeles psychotherapist, Nathaniel Branden, is credited with pioneering the psychology of self-esteem in the secular world, from whence Christians learned this gross error. Branden (whom Dobson echoes) says, “The reputation you have within yourself, your self-esteem, is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.” He is not echoing what Christian psychologists say on this subject—they are echoing him.

Let the world believe this; they have no other hope, nowhere else to turn except to self. But this is contrary to what the Bible teaches. Not one of the heroes of the faith had high self-esteem but, like Paul, considered themselves to be “less than the least of all saints” (Ephesians 3:8).

Jesus told of two men who “went up into the temple to pray” (Luke 18:9–14). The one, a Pharisee, had a very exalted view of himself; the other such “low self-esteem” that he “would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.” Jesus said that God didn’t even hear the first man’s prayer but that “he prayed … with himself.” Of the other man, with such a miserable view of himself, Christ declared, “This man went down to his house justified.” This is God’s view of high and low self-esteem—don’t be deceived by any other!”

Hunt, Dave; McMahon, T. A.. Psychology and the Church: Critical Questions, Crucial Answers (pp. 136-137). The Berean Call. Kindle Edition.

The closer you draw to God, the more you will recognize his glory and matchless worth, as well as your own unworthiness. Think of the time Isaiah beheld the glory of God and cried out that he was a man of unclean lips. Or the ways that the Apostle John recognized his unworthiness in the eyes of God in Revelation. Many other Biblical characters had a similar response to God when they encountered him in his glory.

The Christian worldview is antithetical to reinforcing self-esteem because to esteem oneself is incredibly dangerous. It is the route to pride, the route to self-destruction.

But this idea that we must build people’s self-esteem to help them course correct their lives is pervasive in the church, and pervasive in modern Christian teaching. This is because modern psychology has retrained many preachers to think like life coaches and NRL coaches, not preachers and pastors.

The word of God does not say the beginning of wisdom – which is right living – comes from valuing yourself highly. It says that wisdom comes from fearing God. One might choose to not do the wrong thing sexually before marriage because they regard themselves highly, but the better motivation is to avoid sexual immorality because you fear God.

Why is this the case? Because if your greatest motivation for moral behaviour is that you value yourself, your life’s focus will be based on yourself, and you will compare yourself to other people who are not capable of the same kind of self-discipline and find yourself in the same place as the Pharisee who said, “Thank you God I am not like that sinner over there.”

It is so dangerous because on the outside you might seem like a good Christian to many people who observe your behaviour. You might even seem like a superior Christian to many of the same people, and especially those who are struggling. But really your life is based around self-regard, and while this can lead to a successful approach to life, much like that of the Stoics of the ancient world, it is just a more stable and successful path to eternal destruction.

The goal of Christianity is not success in this life, moral fortitude, or self-esteem. Success and moral fortitude are fruits of Christianity, but the goal is a life orientated around God and a growing awareness of his greatness in comparison to you or anything else.

Another way to put this is that the goal of Christianity is to get outside of yourself and focus more and more on God and his ways for your life. The fruit of this will be joy, a deeply rooted joy that finds its foundation outside of yourself and your own importance. One has come whose sandals we are not even worthy of untying, yet who has chosen to love us and make us his children anyway. This is a love directed to us, which finds its source outside of anything in us, and this is the kind of love we need to know that God has for us.

Another reason this is important to understand is that some people can go through life quite happy in their own achievements, quite happy in their regard for themselves, and maintain a very high level of dignity and morality.

This can throw Christians who might tend to think that such success and achievement without faith should make these people hollow, and yet it does not always seem to. This is because sometimes God gives people over to their idolatry, selfishness and self-regard. He does this to harden their hearts. And a heart filled with self-regard is often the hardest kind of heart.

This does not mean that God does not hold us in some value. Daniel was told that he was one who was highly esteemed. David reflected on the idea that God is mindful of man, and has crowned him with glory and honour. We are incomparably and wonderfully made. But the danger comes when we focus on the creature, especially ourselves, and not the creator. That we are esteemed by God should be a reason to worship God, not fill ourselves with inflated self-regard.