Culture News & Commentary

The Madness of the Gods

...and what fitting gods they make for a narcissistic social era that can’t seem to stop staring at itself in the mirror.
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The corporate overlords of big tech have appointed themselves as civilisation’s moral guardians. No one asked them to do this, but when individuals have more money and power than entire nations, I guess the only career option left is deification.

…and what fitting gods they make for a narcissistic social era that can’t seem to stop staring at itself in the mirror.

‘Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey sent beard shavings to Azealia Banks so she could make an amulet to protect him from ISIS.’

At which point even the Daily Mail turned around and whispered, ‘I didn’t write that…’

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As reported by Nick Reilly in 2018 and confirmed by the rapper in an earlier 2016 interview, Dorsey seemed to think that his beard could save him from terrorists.

Ironically, Vanity Fair published an article titled ‘What is Jack Dorsey’s Beard Hiding?’ after he appeared at the 2020 Senate Commerce Committee looking like Osama Bin Laden’s stunt double. Given the state of his appearance, Twitter users surmised that he probably spent all 12 billion dollars of his fortune trying to protect himself from Covid with Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop range, injecting bee venom into his cheekbones and swallowing Jade Eggs which he now lays on every second blue moon.

If Dorsey is a god, he reigns during the madness of a Shakespearean summer, staring down at his creation in bewilderment as it slips out of his hands.

When memes circulated accusing CEO of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg of being an alien following his inability to drink water in a normal human manner at a Senate Hearing – no one blinked – including him.

His 119.7 billion US dollars of personal worth was society’s reward for creating a website that allowed college boys to creep on their female friends. Presumably a social outcast, Zuckerberg finally took his revenge by placing himself at the heart of teenage social engagement. No one can block him now – but then, the new generation doesn’t know him from a bar of soap. He has discovered the worst fate a god can endure – that of history’s endless silence.

Still, Zuckerberg is in possession of a lot of money which requires emotional maturity and responsibility. What we have instead is a man who smothered his face in half an inch of sun-cream while surfing to ‘hide from the press’. Cue the next round of conspiracy theories as Facebook is plastered with images of Zuckerberg looking like a pantomime serial killer.

Keep in mind, Dorsey and Zuckerberg are the undisputed overlords of the public forum, controlling what is and isn’t allowed to be said with their army of poorly adjusted brats.

As powerful as these two digital beings envision themselves, they are only minor gods compared with Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, Tesla’s Elon Musk, and Microsoft’s Bill Gates.

Bezos may as well be Zeus. Amazon’s business plan is essentially the Communist Utopia of absolute state supremacy nailed onto capitalism. Bezos wants to sell you everything. He can set the prices, erase his competition, and game the market. In other words, he is everything that the Monopoly Laws were created to prevent.

Aside from looking a bit like a James Bond supervillain, cheating on his wife, and treating his workers like Uyghur slaves – he presents as a stable psychopath. True, he owns his own spaceship company, but those are being passed around like show bags these days.

Elon Musk, meanwhile, embraces the full range of emotional instability. He alleviates his boredom by tweeting out gibberish that both crashes and buoys the world’s digital currencies like a child pawing at the bright yellow rubber ducks in his bathwater. If humans ever make it to the stars, it will probably be strapped to one of his rockets. Given the jovial add-ons built into his range of cars, I can’t help wondering if he has a ‘lol whoops!’ playlist queued up in the event he accidentally destroys the world with a poorly timed joke.

What about the grandparent of the gods – the prime mover – the first flicker of movement in the digital darkness?

To properly describe the madness of Bill Gates would require the foundation of several hundred Medieval monasteries devoted to the cause.

While the other names on this list would like to be god, Gates is the only person who believes that he is god. Instead of turning water into wine, he decided to turn poop into water (literally). Primarily, he uses his money to manipulate the political, social, and medical systems of the world.

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The West were prepared to keep buying his computers and turn a blind eye to his frightening obsession with ‘playing god’ while he focused his attention on Africa, but now that Gates is directly interfering with their lives, people are looking more closely at the man who checked out of reality a long time ago.

Gates takes a week off every year to ‘think’.

It is high time that we all take a few days off to ‘think’ about the sort of world we’ve built and who we have left in charge of our lives.


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