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Is Marriage Still Worth It?

"Marriage cannot undergo restoration until men and women are restored, reconciled and reunited by the mutually beneficial roles, responsibilities and purpose for which they were created."

Coach Elliot Hulse and Rapper Zuby gave a 12-minute rundown in July on why marriage is still to be valued despite the downsides and degradation.

Zuby explained, “The institution of marriage has been subverted to a point where people who are even pro-marriage, and pro-family, have trepidation about it.”

He pinned concerns marriage hesitant men have down to technological and judicial; the legislative and legal system.

“People are looking at those divorce statistics going, these are not great odds.”

Speaking to the contribution men and women “bring to the table,” Zuby said: “Everything’s just kind of disintegrated to a degree where both – certainly from a male perspective – but I think even to a degree from a female perspective the value of marriage is a lot less compared to what it used to be even a few decades ago.”

Asked whether this marriage hesitancy and devaluation could be changed, Hulse responded, “Part of the problem is fornication; promiscuity. The hook-up culture, because when you put sex in front of the relationship, instead of putting relationship in front of sex, women have all the power.”

Hulse added, “They like to say we live in a patriarchy, but we don’t. We live in a matriarchal, gynocentric world that’s woman-led. So, when we speak in terms of what to do, [we need to] look at the fact that the divorce laws and courts are stacked up against men.”

To prove his point, he explained how when a relationship doesn’t work out, it is men who get the blame.

Hulse notes that the reasoning is often petty and “very effeminate from the woman’s side.” Such as when women say, “he just didn’t give me the tingles anymore.”

Sometimes, he said, “it’s made-up stuff. They could decide at any point [to leave] for whatever they want. They could just pick up, leave and not only that, take half your money, and take your kids.”

People “always side with women.”

Cautioning that he isn’t denying that domestic violence is a problem, he hints at how domestic violence can come from both sides.

Hulse argues that abuse exists, “but the word abuse has been abused.”

For instance, “I know people, a couple, I’ve seen for a long time. She comes out with, ‘Well, it’s been an abusive relationship.’ I’m like, what are you talking about? There’s no way this guy’s abusing you.”

To which he was told, “Well, it is emotional abuse. He’s not talking to me!”

He said, “it was a lie.”

Hulse returns to his main premise, stating that marriage has become “useless; not meaning anything” because sex has been put before a relationship.

Men see the legal side of things, ditch marriage for hook-up culture on the grounds that, “I could just have sex, and not have to deal with this woman, who’s gonna flip out on me and take all my money.”

Getting to the point about whether marriage can be fixed, Hulse answers “no,” inferring that marriage cannot be fixed until gender roles are restored, where men are men, and women are women.

He targets feminism as the primary cause of “this perversion” of marriage, by painting married women, and mothers as victims.

The “whole narrative of suppression,” Hulse said, “created this situation where women not only want to leave men but become men.”

Citing Hollywood’s mystical reimaging of woman as a transcendent, all-powerful being, Hulse recounts how this false image, “denies women their true power, because telling women they need to be like men to be powerful takes away a woman’s real power.”

For Hulse, a big part of the answer in restoring marriage is answering the perverted blurred distinction between men and women. Men need to break free from society’s demand that men be weak, and effeminate in order to be acceptable.

To begin with, he asserts, “men need to stop tolerating promiscuity. Men need to stop being addicted to orgasms because we’re making ourselves weak. We’re making ourselves addicted. We’re making ourselves easily manipulated.”

He continued, “We think that it’s there’s something manly about being promiscuous or fornicating or jerking off the porn that is nothing but slavery.”

The first step, Hulse says, is for men to “take back their sexual power” through the dignity of self-control.

When it comes to self-control, we have none.

“That’s why everybody is obese, and addicted, spending 90% of their time scrolling through things on their phone, because we’re all pleasure addicted.”

Hulse encouraged men to “start loving boundaries. To be a living sacrifice, because men will never be an authority unless they have an authority, and that authority comes from God.”

He concludes: “I want a woman as a woman that requires me, you and men to be real men.”

Zuby and Hulse’s 12-minute hustle offers quite a bit to chew on. There’s a lot to agree with, yet some points are bound to grind the haters, as well as upset fence-sitters and spectators.

The takeaway point is that marriage cannot undergo restoration until men and women are restored, reconciled and reunited by the mutually beneficial roles, responsibilities and purpose for which they were created.

A slightly modified version of this was first published on the Canberra Declaration’s Daily Declaration, December 7, 2021.

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